The Holy Spirit Comes Like Coffee

Lately I have been super duper consumed by my kids (said every mom, ever). As you may or may not know, I have half a dozen of them ranging from 10 months, to 14 years. Providing nutrition via the womb requires a placenta, which apparently is formed by all of a mother’s brain cells, rendering her an incoherent shell of a being during pregnancy and motherhood thereafter. I have found my phone in the refrigerator. I will shout out random nouns in an attempt to ask someone to pass me something. “Diane, please hand me the (attempted word here is “spatula”) dog, er the salt.. I mean, that! The uh KEYS. CRANK NABBIT THE THING I STIR WITH!!

My brain is cabbage.

I think this has been a contributing factor in a larger issue I’ve had in my faith life. While trying to navigate some complexities with homeschooling, I’ve been in prayer and feeling like God is on the other side of something thick and tall, something hard to see over, through, or around. I know He’s on the other end of the line, but I just can’t make out what He’s saying. Maybe I’m just too distracted. My mind is too messy for some clear communication with my Maker. But if I’m being honest with myself, I know in my heart that He’s calling me to my bible. I realize that sounds super tight and tidy. A simple statement that I’m sure can be found word for word in more than a few Christian publications. So what’s the hold up?

I’ve never been a great bible-reader. Is that a thing? I have read and read, and often it seemed to blow right past me. I know there are so many beautiful and complex messages in there, but I don’t feel qualified to identify them. Mom brain and all. So I prefer to leave that to the pros. Whether I let If:Equip walk me through a passage, or my pastors, or a beautifully bound devotional that looks so pretty next to my coffee cup. And I’m sure those are all good things. Like, REALLY good things. But right now, I feel a whisper in my heart that is asking me to come directly to the Word. I have this voice telling me that any self doubt (you won’t get it, it’s too deep, too wordy, it gets boring and over your head) is coming from an enemy. This morning, I yield to that voice instead of the enemy. Because I think that voice is the Holy Spirit telling me that God’s Word is waiting for me. This morning I want to do more to draw close to the Lord.

So before I started this post, I opened Acts. It’s a book I love, because it’s the very beginning of this side of Victory. It’s where the Church, armed with the Holy Spirit, picks up and starts it’s mission. But when I opened Acts, the first verse begins “In my former book, Theophilus, I wrote about all the Jesus began to do and teach…” and in that moment I knew I needed to start with Luke (the book referred to in this passage). And so I did.

That experience right there? That’s being led by the Spirit. It’s not always big, or loud, or newsworthy. But it was sweet, like a kiss on the head I give my kiddos when they’re being obedient and actually doing that bit of copywork that might not seem super rich or vital, but has this important purpose in their learning. Thank you Holy Spirit, because I know that you know the state of my mind. You know my struggles and weaknesses, and you have no expectations that surpass my own abilities. Instead, you provide me any clarity I need, even if only a little bit. It’s all for a greater purpose, and I trust You with my messy mind. 

   

Wait.. What?

So once upon a time, at least two babies ago, I was determined to become a Blogger. I would faithfully post at least three clever, informative, witty, and beautifully illustrated articles per week. They would  offer my flock of readers an enjoyable read whilst they indulged in their morning cuppa, and inspire them to take better care of themselves. They would be energized and motivated to declutter their houses, try out new personal styles, take confident steps towards new life goals, and grow closer to their creator.

Nope.

Instead, I revisited a year ago, and in the most decisive and cowardly way, I deleted all of my posts and put my little failure on hiatus. But today, oh sweet readers (all seven of you, I’m looking at YOU, If Table) I’m BACK.

So buckle up, and check in while this bad boy is suffering some growing pains. Consider the dead ends and broken buttons my stretch marks. I’ll get it all sorted out. Click through my ancient posts in the meantime, while I work on my personal journey through homeschooling, teenagers, and my own spiritual walk.

It’s gonna be big.

So I didn’t drop off the face of the Earth…

I was busy throwing up.

Yeah. You read that right.

As of yesterday, I am 13 weeks pregnant. Thank you, thank you. So this will make the minion tally a nice, edgy ‘5’. Fashionably off-balance, I believe it will be the perfect number of children for this family. Thankyouverymuch. Oh, and yes. We were trying.

A question that is innocent enough, yet I bristle at. “We you trying?” Nah.. We just washed our underwear together and whoopsie! I especially love the “You do know what causes that, don’t you?” I have concluded the most appropriate answer is “Yep. And we’re AWESOME at it.”

So whilst taking a wee and nauseated hiatus from the blog, I also took a wee and nauseating hiatus from attempting to look decent. At all. Seriously. As I deal with some of the major crimes against all fashion and presentability that I may have committed, I will share them. Right now, I’m recovering emotionally. Let’s just say at one point, I may have worn a long plain brown skirt with a ski jacket and a pair of Dansko clogs to Meijer. With wet hair. And screaming white athletic socks. I was pretty sure if I didn’t stay a little alert, a conservative Morman family might accidentally load me into their van along with all the other denim skirt athletic socks offenders. Had my four kids been with me at the time, it seriously would have been feasible.

I tried to get in the blog mood. I tried to look for some cute trendy stuff to share with you girls. I really did. But oh, I was sooooo miserable. Before you ask, the answer is yes. They do have meds that help. Namely Zofran. It was a miracle cure for about 24 hours, but like all truths in life; if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Let’s just say Zofran not only stops vomiting, but all kinds of food evacuations. Whether in preventing vomiting, or preventing your daily zen poop. Ladies, we all need our daily zen poop. If you’re not experiencing a daily zen poop, then you aren’t getting enough liquids. Or coffee.

Which brings me to another excuse for not blogging since January. I developed an aversion to coffee. And soda. And tea. Basically I developed an aversion to the will to live. I’ve found some solace in lemonade and chocolate milk, and in desperate times even ice water. Needless to say, it’s been rough. I’m here now though, and actively seeking out cool things to blog about. First, foremost, and totally selfishly, I intend to seek out the fashionable way to sport your baby bump, without going cliché. By that I mean, nautical themed maternity bathing suits are OUT! OUT I SAY!

I also have some sweet friends that make some really great jewelry found on Etsy. Oh Etsy, the way you purr my name. How I love thee. Say it with me… ETSY… If you haven’t dabbled there, go now. Go on. When you get back, I’ll have come up with some fab pictures and links and wit and all things blogworthy.

Etsy
On the opening page, you see a random highlight of fabulous offerings from fabulous vendors. But there is so, so much more. Just look to the left for a list of categories, and don’t be afraid of just searching for randomness. You can find just about anything. Go, play. Thank me later.

Here are some of my favorite Etsy shops. Just a sampling, but you might find something you love.

Clean Mama Printables
I purchased a huge package. Heck no, I haven’t put it to good use. I blame my delay in putting them to good use on the fact that I don’t have a color printer currently. I must have color to print the pretty lists. It’s that simple.

Anya Selina jewelry
A local mama who makes beautiful jewelry by hand. I love it because it’s simple, pretty, and not overwhelming. Just lovely.

Garlands of Grace
Lovely headbands, wraps, and headcoverings. I love, and have done some research on headcoverings for religious purposes. I think it’s completely beautiful.

That will be all for now. I’m going to be off scouring the interwebz for some inspiration. In the meantime, if you have found something you love on Etsy, please be sure to add the link in the comments section. Cool stuff is meant to be shared, and I’m all about spending money within the cottage industry. Support local, and support handmade. Look hawt doing it. Easy as pie.

 

I need pie. Now.

The Big Post (hang in there til then end, mmmkay?)

This entire weekend, the hubbins was around. He was feeling less-than-stellar. As I had committed to staying off the computer when he’s around, an insightful blog post was put on hiatus. Now, had I been truly thoughtful, I would have just started writing something down on paper. Alas, I knitted instead. I thought about blogging. I really did. I intend to post on topics such as supporting WAHMs (work at home moms), budgeting, investment pieces (as in that pricey purse, not as in real investing folks), feeling beautiful inside and out. I have some DIYs I want to work on and share with you. The truth is, I’ve been pretty distracted. This is nothing new. So let me talk a bit about me.

I have four kids, 10 and under. I hope to have more. I am not a supreme housekeeper, cook, or organizer. I wish I had more patience, and I wish I had more ‘stick-to-itive-ness’.  I love Jesus. I want to love Him more. I want to be receptive to God’s voice, and do what He asks me to do.  Now, seeing as I haven’t yet heard a particularly clear “Kim, I would like you to INSERT COMMAND HERE…” I have to go with what I know might please Him.

What on earth does this have to do with your sexy mommy style blog Kim?

Not much. But kind of everything.

This silly blog. I originally was going to try to keep my faith a bit muted, so as not to offend anyone that might read, but not agree. Nope. That won’t work. I want you to know why I think this is important, relevant, and what it’s about. I’m reaching out to women, and I want them to hear me. So listen up girly.

If you read every once in awhile, my hope is that you take something away that helps you feel more beautiful.. whether it’s some cute way to style your bangs, some neat product that will tame your tendrils, or just a boost of  ‘go get-em’.

With every post I make, I want you to know that God loves you. That you are beautiful, and that He knows the number of hairs on your pretty head. I’m totally serious.

Luke 12:7.
⁶ “What is the price of five sparrows—two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. ⁷ And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.

Now why on earth is that important to Him?

Because you ARE His.

Let me tell you, I am feeling pretty dumpy this morning. Jammy pants, icky hair, yucky face. I just feel bleh. But as I write this, I know I’m going to get up, clean up, and fluff up a little. When I read Luke 12:6 and 12:7, I am reminded that God knows me inside and out. That he knows when I feel greasy and gross, and he knows when I’ve tried to fluff up a bit. And honestly, I want to make Him smile. I want to take care of myself, because I know I’m loved.

Imagine a little girl, maybe 4 or 5. She dives into a pile of dress ups, and does her absolute best to put together an ensemble worthy of only the classiest pretend-wedding. She might put some blush on her cheeks and paint her nails. Her hair might be in random pig tails that she struggled and winced to get into her hair. She might be clomping around in shoes that are only 11 sizes too big. But she has tried so hard. And why? So that you will admire her.

And don’t you? Don’t you smile at her and adore her? Not because she looks super chic! But because she is precious. Absolutely precious. And wouldn’t you rather see her dress up and enjoy, and even feel good about herself? As opposed to being self-doubting, self conscious, depressed.. Imagine your own daughter, who you gave birth to with your body, or your heart. Imagine her feeling terrible about herself. Feeling inadequate.. Doesn’t it break your heart?

I am no bible guru. I have so much to learn before I could even attempt to teach.. but I KNOW this..

God’s heart breaks for you. Christ’s heart broke for you.

Whether you are a believer now or not.. Whether you were once upon a time, and then got lost. He’s always been there, on the front porch of your heart. Excitedly expecting you to open the door to Him. And you know what? You look perfect.

1 Peter 3:3-4
³ Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. ⁴ You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look and feel beautiful. I think there’s everything right with it, as a matter of fact. But I just want you to remember that the phrase “it’s what’s on the inside that counts” isn’t only cliche. It’s just plain ol’ truth. The boost we get from a pretty purse, or a good hair day is only going to be temporary. Let’s remember that, okay? Let’s remember to work on the inside with the outside.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled cool stuff..POLYVORE.

An uber cool website that let’s you virtually shop for outfits and accessories. Set up an account, watch the tutorial, and start playing dress-up online. I stumbled upon it when cruising Pinterest. I’d see these awesome images, and just followed the links. Here are a few of my favorites lately:

Yellow and grey by kristen-344 featuring a cashmere cardigan

Just click on the image to visit Polyvore. Do this when kids are napping, or it’s bedtime. You will be spending some time here… Enjoy!

So I’m Kind of Grounded, but oooh.. look at Etsy..

Well not really grounded. But I did get my computer time limited.

You see, I am a computer addict. Seriously. I could lose hours on the computer, and I do. I absolutely do. I think way more women do than then they might care to admit to. While I cruise Pinterest, Facebook, Pinterest, blogs, Pinterest (do you see a trend?) the house sits unattended to. My kids have heard “just a minute” more in the past few minutes than I care to admit to. And when the hubbins was super crabby on Sunday, I nestled in with my blog and my boards and found comfort in those places. When he got exceedingly crabby, I took radical action, booked a sitter, and announced he and I were going to dinner. In the car, I had him cornered.
“What’s the matter?”
“You’re in front of THAT BOX all the time! You want me to spend time with you, but you are THERE!”

If you’ve seen Despicable Me, let me tell you, I heard Gru’s voice say “Light bulb.” If you haven’t, go rent it. It’s super adorable and sweet. Slow moving, but just fun.

Now with that little glimpse into my homelife, I have committed to NOT being on the computer when the hubbins is around, and only being online if my kids are napping, or engaged in a movie. I hope to blog 2-3 times a week, so be sure you’ve subscribed for email updates so you don’t miss something fun.

Now.. onto the fun stuff.

We’ve been talking hair, and this weekend was admittedly hair disaster for me. In my pics, you can see I have shorter bangs. Some days, said bangs are completely misbehaved. So I pin back said bangs, in cute little twists and braids, like so:

Kate Hudson Awesomesauce

 

Headbands.. Oooh.. so many choices. My only rule is this girls. At all costs, no matter HOW cute, do NOT go for the GIANT SILK FLOWER on your head. Feathers? Sure.. Jersey or felt, knit, buttons, whatever you can find on Etsy is more than fab. But please, save the GINORMOUS poppies for the babies. Mmmmmkay?

Short Hair Fab

Yes, yes, YES!

Find that gem at Etsy

 

Almost like a snobbish hat. And I love it.

Etsy again.

NO! (But totally yes for the behbehs)

If your minion must have it. Etsy.

 

In the meantime, the crafty critter in me will attempt my own saucy headbands. I’ll let you know how it turns out.

 

 

 

Blow Outs…

The obvious title for this blog entry would have been “The Blow Job”, but c’mon. That was just too easy. But rest assured, my mind is that grungy. Regardless, I settled on a close second. For the mommies out there, we are all WELL AQUAINTED with the term “blow out”. It usually involves seedy poop between the babies shoulder blades. Good times, ah yes. Good times.

I had intended to post this last night, but in between the “Come to Jesus” I had to have with the kids (shortly after my second oldest declared me the WORST MOM EVER!) I was pretty exhausted and instead just vegged out in front of Pinterest. After the minions were down of course. But I’m here now, and that counts.

If you are just finding this post, and it’s sometime in February, then obviously you did NOT subscribe. That’s a bummer, cause there was a giveaway in January and you totally missed out. So go subscribe so you don’t miss out next time. Go on, I’ll wait. If it is indeed January 19th whilst you are reading this, then rest assured.. good things await. This weekend we’ll do a fun giveaway for some great Surface products.

So today we’re going to talk about drying your hair. I’ve been online fishing for some tutorials and inspiration, and have a few goodies to share with you. While watching the Pinterest stream, in the Hair and Beauty section, I noticed that folks are pinning hair that looks soft, fluffy, and romantic. Almost careless. Occasionally that super-sharp biased bob pops up, but more often than not, that bob has softened. It seems to me that Hollywood has a tendency to cut all it’s hair off, only to re-appear with bra strap length tendrils only a few months later. Ah, the beauty of extensions. Well, here in West Michigan, extensions are not the every day, and so I am hesitant to jump back on the short hair bandwagon that was so good to me for so many years. That’s not to say short hair isn’t full of awesome, because it is. It is completely supreme in my opinion. Unfortunately, I have a hubbins that just loves the long stuff, and for now, I’m humoring him. In the long run it pays off.. but it kills me when I see pictures like this:

Goldie Hawn

How fantastic is that short hair? I mean really.. It’s airy, light, feminine, and short! It’s also from HOW many years ago, and still looks awesome. I think a soft cut like that packs just as much romance into it as any head of long flowing layers. With that length, it’s obvious that some product and a round brush make the cut completely beautiful. So what if you want to go shorter?

Ginnifer Goodwin

Look how pixie short that hair is, but still tousled and romantic. How does she get  her hair to DO that?! When I pixied my hair, it just stuck flat to my head. What’s her secret??
The video below will help you out:

 

 

So let’s talk a little longer… hair that is. That biased bob that the mom-on-the-go look of the decade? Let’s soften it up a bit:

Kathryn Heigl

Paris Hilton

ZOMG Headband LOVE..

A little bit of surface layering, and a sideswept bang completely soften that angled cut, and yet you still have that sexy naked neck. So here’s some blow out education for medium length hair:

Placeholder, because I can’t find a decent tutorial so I’m gonna have to make my own. Meh.

In the meantime, a couple tips.

Tip #1. Use some kind of protectant. This would be a leave-in conditioner, or a blow dry cream. I use Surface’s Protien Cream.

Tip#2. Use a volumizing product. Generally a mousse works great for finer hair, but there are some great gels out there too. Again, I love Surface’s Reflect Gel.

Tip #3. Try to blow from root to ends. Yes, you can totally flip upside down to get some massive fluff and puff, but you’re going to do your finishing right side up, so remember to keep lifting your hair AWAY from the scalp.

Tip#4. If you have problem areas such as unruly bangs, start there. Get control of those tough spots right away.

And if you have long hair, and want to go hardcore pro:

Holy crap eh? Because Detroit don’t play..

Mascara.. blow dryers.. curling irons.. oh my!

The Bumpy Scarf Pattern

 

Are you ready for this? It’s tricky.. Seriously, pretty hardcore.

Materials:
280ish yards of a thick worsted, or even a bulky yarn, suited to size 10ish needles
Size 10ish needles

Stitches used:
Knit
Purl

Instructions:
Cast on 48 stitches in whatever cast on method works for you.
Row 1: *knit, purl* repeat to end. Turn.
Row 2: *purl, knit* repeat to end. Turn.
Repeat rows 1 and 2 until you run out of yarn, leaving a couple feet to seam the ends together. You can whip stitch the ends together, or get fancy and do a kitchener stitch. I gave my scarf a single twist before seaming the ends together, and that gave it a great shape.

If you are a seasoned knitter, you are chuckling at my “pattern”, because it’s nothing more than a seed stitch. If you a novice knitter, you now know how to make a seed stitch. Basically you are just knitting into purl stitches, and purling into knit stitches. This creates an awesome and warm bumpy material.

Here are some great links to walk you through this.

KnittingHelp.com

Continental Knit Stitch

Continental Purl Stitch

I strongly recommend using the continental method, as the switching from knit to purl is much faster and smoother with this method. The KnittingHelp.com site is the site I used to learn to knit years ago. It’s videos are fantastic and easy to follow.

Happy knitting!

In the Beginning

I’m going to come at you from a biblical perspective for just a minute. Regardless of your belief system, I think what I’m about to point out is pretty relevant.

John and Stasi Eldredge are Christian writers, authors of the books Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul, and Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul. Wild at heart is specifically geared towards men, and though I have not read it, I had heard great things about it. When I stumbled upon the women’s version (Captivating), I was excited to pick it up. I confess it was a slow read. Honestly, I haven’t finished it. It engages you in the beginning, but kind of drops off about a third the way in. I will eventually finish it, but in the meantime did glean something pretty important from the first chapters.

On page 25, whilst recapping the creation story, we are taken to that time when God had completed all his great works. The earth, sun, sky, seas, the garden in it’s perfection. Then God does something that seems so, human. He creates Man, in God’s image. Why is this significant? Because it wasn’t enough.

It wasn’t enough.

So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
Gen. 2:21,22

You, sweet lady reader, are God’s final act of creation. The entire WORLD was incomplete, until God made the woman. The Eldredges describe this as “the crescendo, the final astonishing work of God.” They go further to instruct us to go find a lovely window seat somewhere, looking over the the earth, and think “Creation reached its zenith in me.”

Now, you might be muttering “well I am NOT a believer in your good book, oh blogger extraordinaire.” But even if you aren’t, I think it’s pretty damn important that one of the most significant and recognized pieces of religious literature proclaims this very fact in it’s Genesis. I am a believer in that Book, but as you get to know me a little more through this blog tis full-of-awesomesauce, I hope you get to know that I want great things for all my lady friends regardless of their own beliefs. Because there are a lot of people out there who aren’t complete without you.

Okay, that was a ramble. I admit it. I’m fresh at this blogging thing.

So what does this have to do with mascara? Not a whole lot, but the point of this blog is to find your sexy. Sexy TOTALLY starts on the inside.  If I really wanted to get nitty-gritty we could get all ‘nutritionally’ sexy too.. but frankly, I prefer to play with makeup and pretty stuff. I’ll leave the nutrition stuffins to some other great blogs that I will eventually find my way towards. For now, we’re going to talk mascara.

Jeni was stoked to read my first post, and then made a Facebook proclamation that one of her resolutions was to wear mascara daily. I think that’s an AWESOME starting place.  Let’s talk about why.

CHALLENGE:

I have no clue what time it is for you, but for me right now, it’s 8:44am. I’m sitting at my desk trying not to make contact with a ToDo list that is trying to catch my attention from the dining room table. “HUSH ToDo list.. The more you irritate me, the longer I’m going to blog!”

So far this morning: I crawled out of bed and washed my face. While the kids got ready for school, I emptied and loaded the dishwasher, fed the minions, ushered them out the door, and sat down with my coffee to blog. At this very moment, my hair is still pulled back in the headband that I put on to wash my face with. Needless to say, I am mascara free.

Mascara is usually the last bit of makeup I apply when I wear makeup. I am NOT a great wearer of the face, but I would love to get better at it. I am hopelessly devoted to BeautiControl products, so those are my products of choice, but here’s what I think we should all do EVERY DAY..  this isn’t evening makeup, there are no smokey eyes here. Just basic, fresh faced, out the door makeup. Get up in the morning, wash your face, and put your makeup on. For you that might be moisturizer and mascara, or just a little powder foundation and mascara. Maybe just a little blush, and MASCARA. Mascara is not optional. Mascara sets your eyes off. It is the difference between staring aimlessly at the cereal shelf at the grocery store ($4.oo for Cookie Crisp. Are you effing MAD?), and demanding the attention and eye contact of the cashier when you flaunt that coupon AND plug in your mperks members number (How about $1.25.. EAT THAT!). Stated simply: it makes your eyes pop.

Doooo eeeeet.

I am about to get really vulnerable here. These are pictures of me this morning. Hair still in headband, and still in my nightie. Nothing cool and sexy, just a sleep tee. Regardless, these are the steps I take so at least if the Fed Ex man throws a package at my door, and then glances in my window, my eyes will pop.

Brace yourselves.

Zomg. Nekkid face.

This is me, post face-washing. PRE-mascara.

For me, mascara goes on after my base-face. That means I like to put on at least foundation and a little bronzer before I go all ‘poppin’ eyes’.

So here are my tools:

I keep my makeup in a little zipper pouch from Thirty One. I have the large cosmetic zipper bag where I put ALL my makeup (such as eyeshadows and whatnots), but for the basics that I want to keep with me during the day, I want a little pouch that will fit in my purse. So here’s whats in the bag:

cream to powder, bronzer, eyeliner, mascara, lip gloss

I don’t actually keep those brushes in the pouch, and the primer is a sometimes thing. What is primer? It’s this super silky product you put on before you apply your makeup. As you apply it over your skin, it stays dry to the touch, but your makeup will glide on smoothly and evenly. It’s pretty cool stuff. Aaaaanywho.. Let me show you why mascara is so important..

Me with foundation on

My skin looks smoother, no doubt. But still.. zoinks.

A little bronzer perhaps?

But something is still missing. Hmmmmmm…

Lack of skilz yo.

So I’m posting this picture to show how lumpy I apply my eyeliner.. It’s not great. My hands are shaky. I use a BeautiControl liner pencil, which has really soft ‘lead’, so there’s no drag. Drag is when it kind of grabs and pulls at your skin as you attempt to apply. I just lightly touch it to my skin and tap it on slowly. So it doesn’t have that magazine close up look, but that doesn’t matter. Why? Because once you put your MASCARA on, your sexy ass eyelashes block your less-than-stellar eyeliner work.

BAM! Okay, not my most flattering pic, but my eyes are all the sudden THERE right?

I swear I haven’t had a stroke.

But really, if you can look past the unattended-to hair and jammie shirt, the eyes are kinda sultry, no?

This wasn’t awkard or anything.

So I tried to crop that picture in photobucket about eleventy-billion times.  Oh well. You get the point. My face looks finished and my eyes, in my humble opinion, look kind of pretty.

This was only a CRAP TON of work, because taking pictures of yourself without looking ridiculous is impossible. It took me a ton of snapshots in the process to realize such. So after composing all those attempts at a semi-serious tutorial of sorts, I threw on my favorite shirt and took two Hipstamatic pics of the more original me:

     

So what is the moral of the story? It is this.. Putting on mascara takes less than five minutes, and makes your eyes pop. You too, can have poppin’ eyes every single day.

Blogging about it, on the other hand, takes two hours. And now, that ToDo list is having an epic meltdown in the other room. CURSE YOU TODO LIST!

CURSE YOU I SAY!

Behind the Chair

I am a hairdresser. I have been for 13 years. The beauty of my job (aside the obvious trying to create or assist it) is the flexibility. I work in a salon two full days a week, and some Saturdays. As a mother of four smallish people, flexibility is vital. I find some significant irony in my life at the moment though. Allow me to elaborate.

My bread and butter is the beauty industry. Women. Style. Product. Metro-sexual males. When someone walks into my salon (okay, my sweet friend’s salon, where I rent a chair.. but it’s like a second home to me), they expect to leave completely changed. They might flip through a hairstyle magazine, but more often will find their inspiration after pouring through an Us Weekly. Some celebrity photo, though intended to look unflattering. You know the picture. Even on some of their most average days, when out shopping, or going to a movie (not a premiere, just a movie), riding their bikes, whatever.. they can set the tone for how a woman here in West Michigan thinks she should look. Jennifer Aniston going shorter or (if humanly possible) straighter. Zoey Deschanel’s amazing bangs. Whether my client is 17 or 70, I know what she wants, because I want it too. They want a look that makes them feel beautiful, attractive, sexy, relevant.

The great irony (alluded to in my first paragraph) is this: it takes work. That carefree beautiful look and natural sense of style, well.. it comes naturally to very few of us. So what do we do about it? Wallow in our own average appearance and existence? Resort to a biased bob with minimal styling required for maintenance? Hide in our comfy clothes and Ugg-like replicas?

NO! We resist dangit.

See those sexy toes up top there? Those are my friend Jeni’s toes. Let me tell you a little about Jeni. She’s a graphic designer, a triathete, a fitness guru, an artist, and a total mom. She’s completely awesome and a great friend. In a way, she’s a lot like you. And me. And Jennifer Anniston. Why? Because she’s a woman. Complete with a vagina and a monthly cycle. She gets bitchy and crampy and frustrated. There’s stuff she has tried and failed at, and she hasn’t met all her goals yet. She wants more. To do more, to achieve more. We ALL do. But here’s what I love about Jeni.

In the last 5 months she has participated in a triathlon, jumped out of an airplane, ran a half marathon and learned how to juggle (balls. legit juggling yo).

She’s doing it. I mean, look at those feet. Maybe I have a total fetish, but that picture is hot. Shiny red heels in a public restroom. When is the last time YOU put on some shiny red heels? You might say you’ve not happened upon the occasion to yet. Well let me assure you, putting on sexy shoes MAKES the occasion. True story.

What’s my point? It’s this.. You want to be pretty? You want to feel sexy? Want to break away from the mom image and hair cut? Then do it. Now. Today. I’ll do it with you. We’re going to go out, and find a style we love. Then we’re going to rock it. We’re going to rock it hard. And one day we’re going to realize that when we’re out and about, people look twice at us. But we won’t care, because we already know we look great.

Stay tuned.